God,Lullaby,Wolf,Team,Me

MIND BLOWN

2012-01-24T23:46:00.001-08:00

today is wednesday.......just 2 more days away

lucky it is friday,where i can get to see how it goes on thursday first

but what kind of excuse am i going to give?

and i don't want it to be in school

i want it to be someplace with more privacy,maybe a park or by the beach

and am i going to come totally clean?

to explain for my weird behaviours?

i'm sorry that i couldn't keep my promise

i really want to be more than just friends

i'm sorry that i had put pressure on you

it's really not my style usually,but it just so happens

i'm sorry that instead of helping you,i've made you sad

there was no excuse for it,it was purely a mistake

i'm sorry that even in times that you truly felt fear

i'm just there and couldn't do anything at all

most importantly,i'm sorry

for things that i could have done and haven't do it yet.

i wish i can say this all in front of you

i only fear rejection

but still,shall see how it goes on thurs

it nothing goes wrong then

i might just say it

and again,i am sorry

BELIEVE

2012-01-10T08:45:00.001-08:00

this was the word i said just a few months back

and i'm already losing it

is it wrong for me to love a person? not like i can control it right?

why do you make it so hard for me to believe?

and i'm starting to lose my smile.....and i can do is only fake it

only now then i feel the pressure of having huge responsibilities

GL HEAD.....

the pressure never came to me till my GLs start to lose it before the whole thing even starts

if you all are already pressurized now,what about the camp?

the promise i made to BF and Howard,i will lead my GLs to awesomeness

even though we were only left with a little time

but i BELIEVE in them,they were hand-picked by us

i don't see why they don't have the capability to step up

and now sem 2 comes with presentation and projects.....

i really can't wait for Grad Party to finish

its wasting alot of my brain cells and energy

and i realised working twice a week till closing actually is enough for me to earn some cash and save up for the HK trip in april......really can't wait :D

I HAVE TO FOCUS

even if the world were to end soon,probably not

I WILL ENSURE THAT FOCAMP 12/13 WILL HAVE THE BEST GLS IN THE HISTORY OF CLS CAMP.

EVEN IF THE EVENTS CMI,I WILL HAVE TO MAKE SURE MY GLS CAN DO IT

MY GLS,I BELIEVE IN YOU ALL,GO FOR IT AND RAISE THE STANDARD OF CLS GLS

MY NEW LAPTOP

2011-11-27T10:03:00.001-08:00

IS SO FREAKING AWESOME HAHAHAHAHA

lol,something i've been wanting since the start of poly

luckily my sis agreed to buy for me without asking much questions

but i need the com more than i wanted it

i5 processor for a 8gb ram for only 799 plus a blue ray disk combo

and also a wireless mouse and an 8gb thumbdrive

seriously,my com cant get anymore awesome than this

well,somebody is finally eating the chocolates i gave

this shows that she is doing pretty well despite of the busy schedule :D

can't believe she really followed the conditions i gave.....or is it just cause she got too man chocs to eat?

well,i don't really care now,not that i don't care about her,its just that i got more things to do now

and really,i don't have time to get my mood down.

mst is in a week,cell bio formal report is done,IOchem dues on tues

damn,i still gotta meet hannah later afternoon,work tmr night,AWESOME CM camp on wed and work on thurs night.......yep,im pretty screwed this week....

but in the mean time i'm just gonna enjoy the wonderfulness of my new laptop XD

gonna configure it as soon as possible :D

Drowsy

2011-11-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

escapade on saturday really drained me out totally

causing the whole of my sunday to feel SO DARN SLUGGISH

but nevertheless,i don't regret volunteering for it

FOR IT REALLY WAS FUN!!!!

i got to meet some potential juniors

and also took part in a FLASHMOB!!! HOW FREAKING COOL WAS THAT??

and also some seniors that eventually became good friends with us

the sacrifice was WORTH IT

and the 2 hours of partying,WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT

i saw a few of my friends whose eyes popped out when i started techtonik

HAHAHAHA the feel was so great last night,i wish it hadn't stop

it reminded me of sports camp,disco night

but i only jumped till my fill then,and the DJs weren't that awesome

yesterday i felt the music and move along to it

the feeling was good and really,reality wasn't in my head

it felt like clubbing,but just better for everyone there was with the intention of having fun

and not getting hooked up or something

now i understand whats clubbing,and trash those people who tarnished its name

its really fun to just let loose like that

even though i lost my voice and felt lethargic for one whole day

THANK YOU ESCAPADE!!!!

Distracted

2011-11-15T08:18:00.001-08:00

came back home from work and i'm tired like crazy

though the day did not progress as i had expected,

i somehow felt a little better than yesterday.

but the words are still ringing in my head,and doesn't feel like its going away any time soon.

that pretty much all i can think of.

for the first time in my life i actually stoned out right in front of somebody within a few minutes

and couldn't think straight during work.

and i thought today's schedule could distract me away

but i got distracted by it more.

seriously,i don't know how much more my mind can take it

it the same damn thing all over again

do i have to wait again??

i waited 5 years previously,trying my best not to give up,

but in the end i just had to move on

and now it happens again

is this karma??? if it is then just let it fall on me!

not the person i care the most for!!

with all these things happening,i feel like walking at the beach again

at least there have memories,good ones

even a while,i just wish to escape for reality

for right now,it ain't the best part of my life

Affected

2011-11-14T07:01:00.000-08:00

just a few words,simple words

it has affect me all the way till today

perhaps i tried too hard to keep in it yesterday

but,i almost wanted to just break down after blowing up

it's not anyone's fault,just that

sometimes,words hurt more than we think they do and

at times where we didn't think things through

and spurt some words that should been said

the damage has already been done,and nothing can revert it back

so please choose your words carefully

for you might never know which poor soul's heart you might be breaking

A conclusion made on 11/11/11

2011-11-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

well,actually now is 12/11,but hey who cares,i'm still gonna talk about how special my 11/11 is. For most people,they should be having classes and stuff,but for me,i was more worried about the tings happening after classes.

First off,GL head selection and GLs interview.......

I AM SO DAMN AFRAID i can't even make it into the GL team uh T.T

I really REALLY wanna be a GL that bad!

but since my interview was already over,it wasn't my results that i am worried about,but more of your's. Plus you were the first one and i didn't get to say something to you before you go in......I WAS SERIOUSLY FEELING EXTRA GUILTY. hopefully both of us can become GLs uh.... :D it's gonna be tough,but i'm ready for it XD

Secondly,YOU

ok the conclusion is more of for this part.

Ok,the secrets is out,so what? Like the whole world know already =.=" (THANKS UH FRIENDS)

so since you already know,i don't even bother keeping it as a secret from you.

But things happened just SO DARN RECENTLY,think we both agreed to just become good friends. Not sure if you read my blog or not but,hey,stop keeping secrets from me. i meant like those things that upsets you,just pour it out. but that aside,i give you my promise,nothing is gonna happen between us,and i'm seriously happy enough to just be able to chat with you like good friends should.

so basically,we're just gonna be friends and NOTHING MORE,my friends who sees this,please get it clear into your head,me and her are NOT together,and will NOT be this time. so STOP TEASING HER AND ME,IT'S JUST ME THAT YOU NEED TO TEASE

.......ps:why the heck do you say that i'm legendary when telling me to others???and which part of me is???

Just one night that i won't be able to sleep

2011-11-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

To think that i'm not the only one that is stupid enough to torture my own stomach with food when i'm feeling uber depressed. Just that the food used are different,one is chocolates,one is pratas LOL. I really don't know if anyone reads my blog, but if you do,just know that,if you share your food with the people around and talk about your problems while eating,you will find that it is better than eating alone,TRUST ME,BEEN THERE,DONE THAT.

ok,so i was full of energy just now before i left my house. But i came back with my forearms outta commision......NOPE,WASN'T DOING ANYTHING MORALLY WRONG,just doing come decent pull-ups. And i realised that 30 in 30mins is a lil too much for my forearms to handle T.T (IM SORRY FOR PUSHING YOU SO HARD) and now typing feels so darn restricted......

AND ALSO A NEW HAIRSTYLE TODAY :D THIS IS ONE HAIRSTYLE I WANTED RIGHT AFT Os.....just that the person don't want to cut for me T.T BUT YAY!!!! FINALLY CUT BOTAK!! WOO-HOO!!! it feels damn GOOD hahahaha,didn't really make me think better though,just very cooling even on a hot day XD

Good bye~My past

2011-11-05T11:47:00.001-07:00

Over the few months that had gone by, i realised what i had been missing out due to worrying. I've decided the delete all the previous post as i really don't want to look back on the sad stuffs and regret on what i had or had not done. The past is the past and its really time to let it go.

On to a new chapter of my life where this wonderful person appeared, I vow to make her happy no matter what. But for now, being friends and seeing your smile and hearing your laughter everyday is already more than enough. I get moody when i don't see you that day, but some times its just inevitable,you have your life and i have mine,it ain't possible to see each other 24/7. i just hope that it as smooth as how things have progressed so far and i better not do anything stupid to screw it up.